Making mum friends can feel like dating all over again but with more sleep deprivation and fewer fancy dinners. You spot a mum at soft play who seems like your kind of person but how do you go from polite smiles to full-on mum squad status without the cringe? If you’re tired of making small talk about the weather and desperate for some real, like-minded mum mates, you’re in the right place. Let’s dive into how to make mum friends, minus the awkwardness!
1. Accept That It’s Normal to Feel Awkward
First things first, let’s normalise the weirdness. Making friends as an adult is tough. Gone are the days of simply sharing your lunch with someone in the school cafeteria and being instant besties. Now, you’ve got responsibilities, social anxiety and a tiny human clinging to your leg.
But here’s the good news, every other mum is in the same boat. They’re just as keen for friendship but probably wondering how to approach you without looking like a total weirdo. So, embrace the initial awkwardness, because it’ll soon pass!
2. Join Local Mum Groups (and Actually Show Up)
Local mum groups are goldmines for friendships, but here’s the catch: you actually have to go. And not just once! Consistency is key. Check out baby and toddler classes, playgroups and even mum meet-ups in your area. Look on Facebook, community boards or apps like Peanut (it’s basically Tinder for mum mates, but way less creepy). The more familiar faces you see, the easier it is to strike up a conversation. Before you know it, you’ll have a go-to mum gang to share the highs and lows of parenthood with.
3. Find Common Ground Beyond Kids
Yes, being a mum is a huge part of your life but it’s not the only thing about you. Talking solely about sleep regressions and weaning can get a bit... repetitive. Try steering the conversation towards non-kid-related topics like books, TV shows, hobbies or even just how much you both miss spontaneous nights out.
Finding common ground outside of parenting makes the friendship stronger and more enjoyable. Plus, it reminds you that you’re still YOU, not just someone’s mum.
4. Master the Art of Small Talk (Without Overthinking It)
We all dread small talk, but it’s a necessary evil. Instead of the usual "How old is your little one?", mix it up with something more engaging like:
"What’s your go-to trick for getting a toddler to eat vegetables?" (Spoiler: There isn’t one.)
"Have you found any decent coffee places around here? I’m in dire need!"
"What’s the last show you actually got to watch without falling asleep halfway through?"
Starting conversations with a bit of humour and curiosity makes things flow naturally. Plus, who doesn’t love bonding over mutual exhaustion?
5. Be the One to Make the First Move
Someone has to do it, so why not you? If you click with a fellow mum, take the plunge and suggest something casual, like a playdate at the park or a coffee after baby yoga. It might feel nerve-wracking, but what’s the worst that could happen? They say no? Highly unlikely. Most mums are just waiting for someone to take the lead.
6. Use Social Media (Wisely)
Social media isn’t just for scrolling through baby milestone pics; it can actually help you find your mum tribe. Join local parenting groups, follow community pages, or even reach out to that mum you always see at the same playground. A simple, "Hey, I think we’ve bumped into each other a few times at soft play! Fancy grabbing a coffee sometime?" can open the door to new friendships.
7. Get Comfortable with Rejection (It’s Not Personal!)
Not every mum you meet will be your people and that’s okay. Some friendships fizzle and that’s no reflection on you. It just means you haven’t found the right fit yet. Don’t take it personally if someone seems distant or uninterested – they might be dealing with their own stuff. Keep putting yourself out there and the right connections will come naturally.
8. Create Your Own Mum Meet-ups
If you’re not finding the kind of mum friendships you’re after, create them! Start a weekly coffee morning, organise a stroller walk or set up a group for mums who love books, baking, or brunch (because who doesn’t love brunch?). It doesn’t have to be big or fancy – just a regular get-together where mums can chat, laugh and share the parenting load.
9. Be Real and Let Go of Perfection
Nobody wants to be friends with someone who seems like they have it all together (because, let’s be real, nobody actually does). Being open about the struggles of motherhood makes you more relatable and approachable. Share the messy moments, the parenting fails and the real-life chaos. Authenticity is what truly builds friendships, not the illusion of having everything figured out.
10. Don’t Give Up, Friendships Take Time
Building genuine friendships doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, effort and a little bit of patience. If you haven’t found your people yet, keep trying. The right mum friends are out there, and when you find them, you’ll wonder how you ever survived without them.Making mum friends doesn’t have to be awkward or stressful. By showing up, being open and taking the initiative, you’ll soon find your tribe. So,next time you’re at the playground, soft play or the never-ending queue at the supermarket, smile at that fellow mum. She might just be your new best mate in disguise!
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